{"id":688,"date":"2010-09-26T16:29:42","date_gmt":"2010-09-26T20:29:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/?p=688"},"modified":"2010-09-26T16:29:42","modified_gmt":"2010-09-26T20:29:42","slug":"four-stages-of-ending-a-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/four-stages-of-ending-a-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Four Stages of Ending a Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t make me swear to it, but I believe it was Karl Slaikeu<\/a> who first presented to me the four stages — or, better, “declensions” — of ending a conflict.\u00a0 If it was somebody else, my apology.<\/p>\n

Which, by the way, is the first stage.<\/p>\n

Taking Responsibility<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 The first stage is to admit the wrongdoing, acknowledge the full consequences of your action,\u00a0and express regret.\u00a0 In this stage the party ceases argument or denial and adopts the posture of the complainant:\u00a0<\/p>\n

Yes, Ms. Smith, our radiologists misread the mammary screen and failed to detect your breast cancer.\u00a0 As a result of this error the cancer has metastacized and your prognosis is poor.\u00a0 If we had detected it in the first instance your life expectency would probably not have been\u00a0\u00a0effected.\u00a0 Now, however, you have been seriously compromised and there is a real chance of serious cancer.\u00a0 This is a very bad outcome and we are very, very sorry.\u00a0 I wish we could be perfect and never make mistakes.\u00a0 However we’re not, and we do.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"responsibility01\"<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Offer to Repair the Damage<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 Assume not only the responsibility for the harm, but also the moral obligation to acknowledge the consequences and address them to the extent possible.\u00a0 Assure the person harmed that you are prepared to make her whole without hesitation and without concern for yourself.<\/p>\n

Ms. Smith, we suggest that you select an attorney who is well-versed in medical malpractice in this region.\u00a0 Take as much time as you want to make your selection.\u00a0 Have that attorney contact the hospital’s attorney and arrange a meeting with me, you, and both lawyers.\u00a0 Your attorney will know the approximate amount of money that is appropriate in cases such as this; our attorney does too, of course.\u00a0 We will agree to the right amount and there will be no need for a lawsuit or a costly trial.\u00a0 We will make sure that your family is fully taken care of and that the costs of your continued care is fully covered.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"broken<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Assure No Repetition of the Harm<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 Take steps to prevent a recurrence of the conduct.\u00a0 Assure the person harmed that you are not in the business of hurting people like this, that you do not regard it s a mere “cost of doing business,” and that you will do your best to prevent it happening to anyone else.<\/p>\n

Ms. Smith, this is a teaching hospital and we would like to make every effort to ensure that this mistake never happen again.\u00a0 Or at least that our doctors know what happens when they make mistakes.\u00a0 Would you agree to take part in a video of how to identify these tumors, and to explain the effect that this has had on your life and your family?\u00a0 It would help impress on our young doctors the vital importance of being as nearly perfect as possible.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ask Forgiveness<\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0 This is an odd stage, because its completion is not in the control of the wrongdoer, as the other three are.\u00a0 It contemplates that the person hurt will recognize and accept all of the indicia of resolution set forth above, and\u00a0will choose\u00a0a life without remorse and vindictiveless, putting the whole matter in the past.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Of the four, this might be the most difficult, and the least common.\u00a0 It is, however, the most important for health.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

For those so inclined, let me note that hospitals who have adopted this approach to doctor\/patient errors spend less on lawyers, less on insurance, and less on patients, and better control their risk and their cash flow, compared to those that do not.\u00a0 So it\u00a0has benefits to\u00a0both parties that can\u00a0be measured if that’s\u00a0the kind of assurance what one needs\u00a0before doing the right thing in the first instance.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"do<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Paying up is a necessary but not sufficient part of conflict resoluton. Here are four components of a true, complete ending to an angry dispute. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conflict-resolution","tag-culture"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=688"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.businessconflictmanagement.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}